Celebrating Nanay Tessie

We all have something in mind that reminds us of our mothers—whether it is the smell of her perfume, her laughter or the way she prepares a meal. For me, it is my mom’s words of consolation and motivation.

“Don’t let it bring you down. However long the night, the dawn will break.”

“Everything happens for a reason.”
"You can do better than that."

Long before modern day life coaches have found ways to exploit these lines, I have heard those words come out of my mom's lips for a good number of times. Not as hollow expressions she would indiscriminately say, but rather as standby guarantees spoken at a time when I badly needed a shot of inspiration. Once in a long while I wise up and learn but most of the time the words passed one ear and out the other. Mom's real objective behind the encouragements would not sink in on me. Thankfully she is a patient teacher. She knew seriously well that good things come to those who wait. More and more masterful advices continued to pour in as days stretched into years. Sometimes by the buckets, other times in trickles.

“Don’t be anything less than everything you can be. 
"Pay little attention to critics.” 
"Tell me your friends and I'll tell you who you are."

“Insecurity stems from not knowing yourself.”

“You have what it takes to be what you want.”

And so when the clouds of youth stupidity finally cleared, in full view before me was a revelation that those words of wisdom were actually instruments designed to lead me down the path of self-awareness. Where my mom drew the faith that someday all these will make sense to me is purely mother’s instinct. The objective to introduce a son to his inner-self—where strength of character resides— was finally achieved. Much later, a hit song by singer Mariah Carey brought into currency her concept to a wider audience. "Hero" became more than just a song played on the radio. That song's lyrics mirror the centerpiece of mom's impact on me. She owns the copyright over those loving reminders... at least in my heart.

So to my nanay Tessie on this Mother’s Day 2011: I thank you for giving me your trust even before I have worked on earning it. Your commitment to motherhood’s daunting responsibilities is a testimony of your greatness and endearing charm.
To hear the Mariah Carey song over again. Just click here.

The Forgettable Flood of September '09.

LESS than a week ago, a horrifying storm trashed historic fury on my unsuspecting homeland. It left a trail of wrath unrivaled by any storm before it. And if it weren't for the age of instant communication, I would've been completely clueless and oblivious of the sad plight of friends and relatives from home. Each video and still picture I set my eyes on leaves me helpless. And why not? These are home folks whose sufferings have claims on my heart. Gravely affected unfortunate souls, dead or struggling to stay alive, are everywhere that the mere sight of it all made me feel insensitive saying to friends: "I'm glad you're okay and not among the unlucky ones." How dare me regard the word glad and the harsh reality of it all in one breath? I personally sensed in those words direct association with an awfully callous line from a song which goes "Well, tonight thank God it's them instead of you. [from Do They Know It's Christmas]" Nevertheless, I just hope that Mother Nature can now assure us that she is done showing her worst vindictive side.

No more postscripts. No more sequels.

MJ Overload

IF there were such a term as 'MJ Overload,' then it's the one I am sick of right now. TV shows, local and national news, radio programs, website pages, office chatters, car stereos, music videos and any other gadget out there have all talked about, played, showed, and even glorified anything MJ related. It's not that I want to consciously differ from the fad because I myself agrees to the fact that he's had flashes of greatness here and there that deserve respect and admiration. Maybe what really bugs me is the over-adulation from some avid sectors reaching near hysteria proportion. For me, the Man in The Mirror was undeniably great as a dancer, writer of some of the influential and era-defining songs of the '80s, was instrumental in getting the USA for Africa project off the ground, and was responsible for breaking new grounds in the world of MTV. Other than that, he was just another piece of the puzzle, like everyone else, in this great world we all live in.

I thank him for his contributions to mankind in general. I hope we can all pick and learn from where he left off.

He will be missed for sure.

But let's just stop right there.

Some days are better than the others

I believe in my heart that the sooner we let this maxim sink in our individual heads, the easier we can ease off serious nagging thoughts pulling us down. It has been proven that the mind can sometimes play tricks on us. Its joke may even follow us all the way to our beds at night.

I have to admit that I have had days when I made mountains out of mole hills just because the red lights got me more than once from home-to-work or vice versa. There were also moments of frustrations when I 'thought' I missed on something crucially important because I dragged my feet reaching a decision. Things can become even more alarming when obsession sets in and I start blaming the slightest unsatisfactory result to my lackluster effort. If you see me freaking out then, it is because an edit button was nowhere to be clicked.

But that was then and this is now. I have made amends with the misanthropic-perfectionist in me. I have kept my composure in check by psyching myself down that even seemingly best plans can go awry, but never my original intention. It is about forgiving myself for being human, for being flawed, and for being a work in progress. I even thought life is a lot like playing bowling: Some balls are bound to gravitate towards the gutter. I just have to make good on my next throw.

And that did it for me!

THERE's a great deal of truth that 2009 can be a very tough year given the current pressing economic situation we are all in. But haven't we've been here before? We've all stood before seemingly insurmountable hills and mountains of troubling concerns several times in our lives. There were some that even looked impossible to conquer when they were at their most troublesome period. Yet here we are, still standing because we were able to get past them through careful deliberation of possible solutions. And please don't we forget the sighs of relief and fulfilling joy we felt seeing these troubles all behind us. So isn't it but right to think we are properly equipped with all we need to keep us going in life? I seriously think I am prepared and ready...are you?

So bring it on 2009! We're bigger than whatever doubts and fears you have in store.

from my mail

I got this in the mail from my eldest son. Pictures speak to me and these two are no different. This is their way of saying: "Don't worry about us here...we're having fun!" Yeah!

Go For What You Need

DIFFERENTIATING what we want from what we need in life is not easy. The thin line that separates each part is often times blurry. And so we hear gripes about messed-up priorities, deadend situations, or immature life-changing decisions, all because the difference between the two wasn't properly identified. Now the truth that not one soul was spared of this mistake is just accurate. All of us, one time in our lives, have fallen victim to this human vulnerability. Fortunately when my time to pick a lifetime partner came, my compass pointed me to my true north.

The lady you see in these pictures is who I need to be with the rest of my life. She may not be the super sweetie type you can presume from these pix, but she's definitely more than what meets the eye. Besides her apparent natural charm, other disarming features she has include her being smart, kind-hearted, conscientious, and plucky. She is focused in life, retiring in nature but with an impressively high set of principles, the likes of which one can consider rare these days. She's also an outstanding mom to our son as she is always selfless in her caring ways.

Day in and day out, Dee is a real keeper in its truest sense!

Fly to the Angels, Lola Bayang!

IN life, there are but only a few clan gatherings any proud family member shouldn't miss. When my paternal grandmother, Lola 'Bayang' Maria, turned 97 in May of this year, I knew that's one gathering I should've tried hard to join in and be part of. The sorry feeling felt all the more frustrating when these rare group shots were sent via email to me. What a moment in time to miss!
The frustration later turned to awful hurt when Lola Bayang passed away a few days ago.

Two In One Year

Joy can be greater the second time around. If you don't believe in that let me tell you what it's like. Last month, my other grandson graduated from high school with honor. James is Class 2008 salutatorian in his school. He is pictured here with his maternal grandmother, Deody, who I can tell stood proud and tall just like us when we heard about the awesome news. Sometimes life spoils me too.

Congratulations AJ!

Santisima Trinidad Church

I've watched how this church building evolved through the years. Santisima Trinidad is literally a stone throw away from my place. The neighborhood school --Holy Trinity Academy-- which this parish operates is where both of my boys finished elementary schooling. 30 years onward, I still drop kids to the same school. This time, of course, they're my grandchildren. Time really flies!

Happy Little Graduates

Here I am with two of my young grandsons. Matt graduated from pre-school two days ago and younger brother, Tommy, got an award. In their eyes, I see hope and true happiness. I wish them both a life full of happy and lasting memories just like the one I'm living right now, if not better.

Also, get a glimpse and say hello to my wife, Tessie, on the topmost picture.

Did I Create a Monster?

Way back when earning a living was a lot easier, I gave birth, and sort of pampered, a consuming hobby: Collecting 33 1/3 rpm Long Playing records.
I was a voracious music listener back then that I can't recall a time I've refused to listen to anything including strange, new or old, hip or uncool type of music. If my turntable can play it, I will give it a try.
Many years later, my eldest son also got into the hobby. He started growing his own rock & pop LP collection. When the time for me to work overseas has come, I lost track of how my collection was stored. Some of the titles in my collection had sought refuge in my son's collection. While the unfortunate ones, bit the dust with their sleeves rotten and grooves badly beaten. I remember sort of being emotionally affected with what happened to them, but consoled myself into thinking they have lived their lifespan. I then peacefully thanked them for the musical memories.
About a couple of months back, my son excitedly emailed me a database of his CD collection (which you may find here). That's when I uttered the words: Did I Create a Monster? Tsk-tsk-tsk...

Secret to a Peaceful Life

WE Filipino Asians take pride of our families. It is the heart of our existence. Like a ball team who sets its eyes on winning a title, we are serious about working for a common goal. We make sure that other than sharing flesh and blood, the boundary-shattering filial and sibling love along with spiritual ties that bind us all, are also intact. And though there may be some rocky rides once in a while, these bumps along the way only make our journey interesting and challenging.

Counseling or psychotherapy...who needs them? Definitely not us! Our 360 degrees support is on-call 24/7.

Hardest Topic to Talk About

Whenever I talk or write, I always find myself struggling to tell stories in the first person. It's all because I'd rather have the person (or group of people) I'm speaking with throw questions at me to which I'll respond or comment. So it is with utmost respect that I'm giving up the right to a better historian, that is Gerry Alanguilan, to properly and humbly introduce myself. Click here please.
Thanks Gerry!